“Aye, There’s the Rub!”

The above title is not some sort of verbal signals for a line out in rugby. 23 refers to how much time Rodrigo has left with my family, Duluth refers to the road trip we took up to Duluth, Minnesota yesterday, and Toulouse refers to the winner of “Le Bouclier de Brennus”(Brennus’ Shield), the Stanley Cup, if you will, of French Rugby supremecy.

It’s really getting down to the nitty-gritty. Rodrigo has most of his packing done. I am trying to get some of his last laundry down as I write this. He’s got to get his loose ends tied up today. I’m going to grill tonight for dinner. I also need to get ahold of Paula, our former AFS exchange student from Finland, who is in town to help a friend cope with the recent death of her mother. I would really like Paula to meet Rodrigo. Anytime we can get some of our 12 AFS students to meet their AFS “Brothers” and “Sisters” is a good thing, I think. So far, Rodrigo has met 4, and I would really like him to make it 5. As soon as I am done with this entry, I need to give Paula a call at Katie’s house.

Yesterday, Rodrigo and I went on a little road trip with his Brazilian friend Rafael and his American Dad, Gary and his American sister, Tina. Duluth, Minnesota is an inland port on Lake Superior, the largest fresh water lake in the world. It’s a bit over 2 hours north of Minneapolis. The weather was great, it was sunshine and high 60’s. We did the “Tourist thing” and went to Canal Park in Duluth, where there are all kinds of shops by the Harbor Bridge, and the kids where able to see some of the big ships that come in to get iron ore, wood and grain to ship east along the Great Lakes.(and in some cases hooking up with the St. Lawrence Seaway and connecting with the Atlantic Ocean) We had lunch at Grandma’s Saloon and Restaurant in Duluth. The food there is a bit overpriced, but Grandma’s is a huge institution in Duluth, and also sponsors a Marathon race each June that brings thousands of marathon runners to the banks of Lake Superior. After spending some time in Duluth, we took the kids to Goose Berry Falls, about 40 minutes north of Duluth, just past Two Harbors. It’s a very beautiful and striking waterfalls in a woodland setting. This year, since we have had quite a bit of rain and runoff, the falls were really moving this summer.

While Gary was showing the kids around Canal Park, I was able to meet my friends Bob and Carrie, along with their son Joshua and his Korean girlfriend.(Sorry I cannot remember her name) We had a nice visit. Bob has had a busy spring with knee replacement surgery a couple of months ago, and beriatric(weight loss) surgery a few weeks ago. He’s moving around pretty well, and is below 300 pounds for the first time in a long time. We had a nice visit, and it was great to have a chance to see them all.

On a last, rugby-related note, Clermont-Auvergne made it 9 times they have lost the French Rugby Final. They lost 26-20 against Toulouse at the Stade de France yesterday. I have mixed feelings about it, because In the Top 14, Toulouse is my favorite team. Still…you have to feel bad for a team that has come THIS close to bringing Le Bouclier de Brennus back the Auvergne, and just cannot quite get over the hump. Clermont topped the table at the end of the regular season, and played some great rugby. They were hard luck losers in “The Group of Death” during the Heineken Cup, playing some great matches against London Wasps and Munster-the eventual winner. So Toulouse get to bring Le Bouclier de Brennus back to Languedoc-again. At a certain point, you just have to recognize that this is a rugby team that manages to pick it up a notch for the big game. My only regret is that Setanta Sports did not carry the game.

Oh well, back to Laundry…22:59:59, 22:59:58, 22:59:57….

We were having my father’s day dinner at Patrick’s in Edina when just before we were about to get to dessert, Andrea announced “My water just broke!”. We took our dessert to go, Ian took Andrea to North Memorial Medical Center, and the wait began. It did not take long.

We had one little bit of excitement during the labour: Andrea’s mom Sandy passed out. Luckily it happened in the hallway and not in the birthing room. Sandy had not had anything to eat since lunch, and add to that nerves and stress and that all took a toll on her. We got her off her feet, fed her some animal crackers and got some water in her, and she was good to go the rest of the night.

Duncan George(name of my Maternal Grandfather) Adams was born at 01:20AM, CDT. He weighed 7 pounds, 6 ounces(3.3 KG), was 19.5 inches long(scrum half size), Apgars were 8 and 9.Duncan has a nice head of wavy, dark hair. He looked just great. When I walked into the birthing suite, Ian was holding his son, with tears streaming down his cheeks. Andrea was very emotional as well. It was a very tender moment for these two as they are now about to embark on that ultimate endurance race and test of nerves called parenthood.

For the record, my daughter Rachel won the unofficial baby pool. Almost all of the rest of us thought Ian and Andrea were going to have a little girl. Rachel was the only one who guessed boy. She came the closest to the time of birth. She guessed 02:00 AM, so was off by only 40 minutes. She guessed 8 lbs as the weight. Congratulations Rachel. Your prize is that you now got a new Moniker:Auntie RACHEL! You can add that to your Silver buckle princess tiara.

I called into work tonight. No way am I going in. I have way to much to get down around the house.

I’m off to the hospital to see Ian, Andrea…and my new Grandson.

The fact that you and Andrea are about to have a child in 4 short weeks really seals the deal about turning the page in a new chapter in your life.

I think sometimes parents get too much credit and too much blame in how a kid turns out. I’ve known people who grew up with “everything”, but who ended up as losers. On the flip side, I have known people who have overcame a lot, who ended up becoming productive members of society. One thing I do believe, and that is that kids need a father figure to be a parent and not a friend to their kids. Your son or daughter will have plenty of friends, they only have one set of parents. After many years of hard-core feminists and educators saying that kids don’t need a male presence in their life, these so-called experts have now changed their tune and admitted that maybe a child having a dad or a strong male figure in their life might help them succeed in life and be less likely to get into trouble.
My mom and dad divorced when I was really young. I did not get to see my dad growing up as much as I would have liked. I was lucky that my grandpa Anderson and my step-dad were strong role models for me. My step dad was not perfect-he had some serious issues himself, but he gave me a kick in the ass to do well at school, taught me to cook, got me invol ved in sports and getting outside as well as suggesting that I take up a foreign language. My grandpa Anderson taught me about being responsible, about being patient when teaching kids a task, about doing a job right the first time, about the importance of getting outdoors and appreciating the four distinct seasons we have here in Minnesota. My dad taught me about second chances, about realizing that your kids are going to make mistakes-and somehow will learn from their mistakes. My dad, your Grandpa Chuck, bit the bullet and paid for a good deal of my college education and later, helped make our house payments while I was going to nursing school. As a realtor who relied on commissions, that meant that more than a couple of houses had to get sold to help me out as a young adult. He was happy to do it, because he felt that it was the right thing to do, and he was in a place where he could financially help me out. My point in all of that, is that as a dad, you still want to help your kids-even when they are adults. I may not be able to pay for your school-but I am happy that you and Andrea can at least share the space under our roof.
I don’t have a ton of exact advice about being a dad. Goodness knows I made plenty of mistakes along the way, too with you and your sister. To be honest, some of my favorite memories as a parent have been little things, like doing 2 AM feedings for you and
Rachel while watching some esoteric sport like Aussie Rules Football, rugby or the World’s Strongest Man on ESPN with the cats crashed all around us.

If you are going to press me for a couple of kernals of wisdom, here you go: Eat supper together as a family-don’t fall into the trap of just taking the kids to fast food places, like McDonalds, or letting the kids eat on their own while watching TV. Eating supper together as family gives me many fine memories of conversation, laughter and sharing our day; long car rides to and from Chicago or Duluth. Whatever you do, please don’t get those stupid DVD players in the back seats of your car. Play sing a long with the radio, get some music CD’s, engage your kids in looking at the enviorment in which you are driving, be it the people, animals, buildings, terrain-there is no shortage of things to look at or talk about on a long drive; don’t be a helicopter parent…God knows we have too many of them now. Sometimes you need to let your kid fail. You cannot prevent them from having the occasional knocks, bumps and bad experience. Advocate for your child so that they can get the best education, yes, but don’t go to the extremes of sheltering your kid from everything.

The rest, as they say, you will have to figure out on your own.

I am very proud of you, Ian. I know you will be a great dad. You are a way more mature person at your age, than I was at almost 21. For the mother of your child, you chose wisely-as I did when I picked your mom. Andrea is the perfect partner for you to be a parent. You two compliment each other very, very well.

I am looking forward to being a grandfather…because that means that when your baby is screaming too much or has a poopy diaper, I can pawn them back to you two…actually, l am looking forward to 2 AM feedings on my nights off.

Happy Birthday son. Your ‘Real’ present will be coming in about 4 weeks. Your adventure is just beginning.  We don’t know if you are going to have a son or daughter. Having raised one of each with your mom, I can tell you that boys are great and girls are great. As somebody who has worked with some seriously sick or dying kids over the years, I can tell you that if you have a healthy kid, the rest of it is all good.