This Wednesday, my lovely Red-Head and I will celebrate 25 years of marriage.
(The enclosed picture is from our engagement picture in the paper) I know I am a couple of days early, but I thought I would reflect on this impending milestone in our life. For starters, I am off today, and will be working evening shifts all the rest of this week. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, I actually have access to the computer. (Sometimes it is hard to get access to the computer as it is the TIVO, so I can see the rugby games that I have recorded)
(The enclosed picture is from our engagement picture in the paper) I know I am a couple of days early, but I thought I would reflect on this impending milestone in our life. For starters, I am off today, and will be working evening shifts all the rest of this week. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, I actually have access to the computer. (Sometimes it is hard to get access to the computer as it is the TIVO, so I can see the rugby games that I have recorded)
25 years married to the same woman.
So what are we to make of this 25th, our Silver Anniversary?
I think that it’s possible to get too caught up in numbers. Raw numbers can be like so many hot dogs consumed during an eating competition. Do the numbers of years together carry any merit when the people may be married, but are not very happy together and live separate lives? (Think Bill and Hilary Clinton)
I think that if you stay happily married for all of those years, like my wife and I have been able to do, then I think you have accomplished something. I won’t sit here and try to tell you that it’s been easy. There were a lot of tough spells during our first year of marriage (we were together only 5 of the first 12 months of our marriage between Air Force basic training and our tech schools-and money was really tight), and I think we had to go through some challenges while I was going through nursing school-that first year was pretty tough.
I learned along the way that if you are a man in a marriage, picking up a broom or doing some dishes and doing your fair sharewith work around the house goes a long way to making a less-overworked, happier spouse. (And a happy spouse, tends to be a very affectionate spouse, indeed). My wife has learned that trying to have a heart to heart during a climactic portion of a rugby or ice hockey game is not going work…I think that if both partners are willing to learn and compromise, this goes a LONG way.
In 25 years, we have raised two great kids, who are both now adults. We have a 10 month old grandson now. I have to say that during the time in my life when I weighed about 250 pounds, my wife never gave me a hard time about being heavy, and still made me feel like I was still desirable to her. My wife was very, very supportive when I made the decision to start playing rugby in my mid forties. We are lucky that our strengths and weaknesses compliment each other very well. I cook, my wife does not enjoy cooking. I am worthless with tools and electronics. My wife is very smart with audiovisual and electronic equipment, and has our TV/Direct TV and Stereo all hooked up.
As I sit here on the verge of being married to the same person for 25 years, there is one thought that still comes to mind: I would marry her again.
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