"Aye, There's the rub!"

My Parents graduated from high school in 1957, got married in 1958, had my brother Bill in 1959 and me in 1960. My parents were of an era where kids got married right out of high school-back then, that was WHEN you could have sex. As you might have noted by the years, this was PRE-birth control pill. That meant that contraception misfired-a lot-back then.

The cool thing about my parents getting married young and being so oversexed and fertile was that when I was born, I not only had a complete set of grandparents, I had MOST of my great grandparents, as well. (Two of my great grandfathers had already died)

The down side in those years of having parents getting married so young is that generally they-like many in their generation- were not mature enough to handle the emotional rigors of marriage. My parents got divorced back in 1968-before I turned 8 years old. It's a sad thing to admit in print that I do not have a single happy memory of my parents together. It seemed like all they ever did was yell at each other. Sometimes it got physical, too.

The silver lining part of my parents frequent squabbles was that I got to spend a lot of time with my grandparents. My paternal grandfather scared the bejesus out of me. He was a gruff man who was not particularly great around kids.  My maternal grandmother put up with a lot being married to him. She had a huge impact in my life, because she shared with me and my siblings a love of animals and a love of exploring the world. When I was a kid, my grandmother bought me all kinds of great books about places faraway, like Australia, South Ameria, Europe-you name it. After she and my grandfather sold the Doggie Shop, she was able to indulge in her passion for travel. She has been to every continent except Antartica-she would have liked to have gone their, but it's tough to find a senior citizen who wants to go THAT far south. She has been to places as far flung as Siberia,China, Japan, Mongolia, Morocco, Patagonia, the Amazon, Tahiti, Fiji and Australia.  As a kid, I enjoyed listening to her talk about her travels. I also enjoyed listening to her talk about her simple, but idylic childhood in Pepin and Phillips, Wisconsin.

My grandmother for the last year and half has had a major loss in her memory. She is not safe to be left alone for any length of time because her memory loss level has become quite moderate and has had some falls.

I remember around the time when her memory was starting to go, my grandmother was very meloncholy when I would visit her. Pretty much all of her friends are dead or in nursing homes. It struck me that we all want to live a long healthy life, just like my grandmother. In many ways, she has had an exemplary "Third Age":She has travelled a lot, is financially stable, has a nice house, has been able to live independently, didn't really even miss a beat when my grandfather died back in March of 1978. There are a lot of AARP aged women who would swap places in a second with my grandmother. Still, it has to be a sad thing when you have outlived all of your friends, siblings and you have become the last one standing.

Last week,when I had my grandmother and father over at my house for dinner, it really struck me just how severe my grandmother's memory loss has become. She asked me about my maternal grandfather, my mom's dad. (I will write another blog entry about him at a later date) She asked me how he was doing. My grandfather died in August of 1988, a couple of weeks before I started nursing school. Luckily, she still recognizes her kids, me and my siblings and my kids. I know people who have family members with Alzheimers, and that has to be one of the unkindest cuts of all-when a loved one no longer recongizes a spouse, children and dear friends.

As we, in the United States, are about to celebrate Thanksgiving next week-a big holiday where families get together and air is thick with nostalgia, turkey, gravy and pumpkin pie- I want to take a second and wish you, dear reader, with the wish that you can be around your loved ones and enjoy their company this holiday season. This holiday season, I am thankful that I still can set a place for my grandmother at the family table for Thanksgiving.